My message is 'Forgiveness in the midst of the Pain'.
I will not say that this is easy, not at all! But forgiveness has given me the will to carry on, to move forward to do something positive to help young people.
Forgiveness allows me peace of mind, preventing me from having to carry around in my system the burden of guilt, grudges and malice. I cannot allow myself to be destroyed by these elements, as they destroy you before you know it. I know my son would have wanted me to do the same, that's how I taught him to forgive. I have to forgive ( though hard it may seems), to sleep peaceful and go about my business without having to carry resentment.
The truth of the matter is, the perpetrators will never live a normal life, they are like a walking dead. Even if they are smiling it's a front. Those individuals will never have peace with themselves, they will be haunted for the rest of their life. Even if they repent, the thoughts and memories of the atrociously and cowardly act will always be there to haunt.
I have to concentrate on my wellbeing, my physical, emotional and mental state as this is something I have to live with for the rest of my life.
When I consider and think of how my son was killed; I have to try my very best to put away any anger or resentment into new energy of hope.
The bible says, ... Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.. Romans 12:19 (KJV)
I have seen outcomes of people who mistreat people unfairly or unjustly, so I feel sorry for them. It is quite easy to harbour grudges but difficult to forgive, as it means to give up your rights sometimes.
I persevere because I pray for God to help me and he does help. When I feel sad or that this shouldn't have happened to me (the loss of my son), God has always been sending people in my life in so many ways, to help me along the journey.
By Jennifer Beckford
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